Final Fantasy IX Goes to Hogwarts: Part II
by Feathery Kuja1
Summary: The second part of The FF9 Goes to Hogwarts series I started a long time ago.... sorry i had to make it seperate but i couldn't get on my other penname....


A/N: Um... sorry its been so long ppl, i kinda lost the floppy disk this thing was on and couldn't remember nuff to write a new one.... but here it is!! Mwahahaha!!  
Disclaimer: I own absolutely no one in this story.  
Day Two:  
  
Everyone's in the Great Hall eating breakfast when suddenly...  
  
Zidane: *Bursts into room on fire* AHHHHH!  
  
Professor Snape: Ehehehe.... *Smirks*  
  
Dumbledore: Seveurs, what the heck do you think you're doing?!  
  
Professor Snape: *Puppy dog eyes* Just torching students again, sir...  
  
Dumbledore: Why?! For your own sick amusement?!  
  
Professor Snape: Yeah! *Twitches*  
  
Dumbledore: Well, will you please make sure the sprinkler systems are not activated next time!  
  
Professor Snape: *Twitches* Okay! *Bounces off*  
  
Professor Richards: Hey, that guy is... that guy is like... a kangaroo.... *Passes out*  
  
Ron Weasley: I WOULD ONLY HAVE TO AGREE!!  
  
Professor Manson: Shut... up...  
  
Trent Reznor: Oh! THE COLORS! *Runs into wall*  
  
Professor Manson: Ever since yesterday that guy's been acting like that. Maybe you should check him over for rabies or hemorrhage or something...  
  
Professor Richards: No, I've seen him before. With that hemlock and coke.... GET HIM!! *Runs off*  
  
Professor Manson: There's something incredibly disturbing about that guy...  
~In the Kitchens~  
  
Garnet: AHAHAHAHA!! I'VE GOT YOU NOW, MANSON!!  
  
Dobby: This is being Dobby, Miss Garnett-  
  
Garnet: AH! *Lunges with knife*  
  
Winky: *Sighs* Dobby being a bad boy, must be punished for my actions! *Begins bouncing head off walls*  
  
Professor Richards: Hey, I thought this was the loo... okay... I'll just leave you and your double homicides alone and go back... go back... to the... MICK, I'M COMING BACK TO THE BAND!! *Runs away shrieking*  
  
Garnet: Why does it always seem like that guy's about to have a heart attack?  
~Outside~  
  
Quina: I FIND YOU! I FIND YOU!  
  
Hagrid: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Quina: YEEEEEEEES!!  
  
Hagrid: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Quina: YEEEEEEEES!!  
  
Hagrid: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Quina: YEEEEEEEES!!  
  
Hagrid: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Eiko: *Singing* It's a small world after all...  
  
Quina: YEEEEEEEES!!  
  
Hagrid: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Quina: YEEEEEEEES!!  
  
Hagrid: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Snape: YEEEHAW!!  
  
Quina and Hagrid: Uh? *Look up*  
  
Snape: Pardon me, stranger, but--AHHHHH!!! *Runs off*  
  
Quina: Why he do that?  
  
Hagrid: I don't kno-- AHHHH!! *Runs off too*  
  
Quina: What? What he seeing? *Looks around* AHHHH!  
  
Mr. Rogers: Oh, Won't you be my neighbor?  
  
Quina: Stay away, you evil, gay man! *Makes sign against evil*  
  
Mr. Rogers: HOW DARE YOU MISTAKE ME FOR ROSIE O'DONNELL!!  
  
Quina: No, I say you evil *man*!  
  
Mr. Rogers: Yeah, I know...  
~Steiner's Class (Chess)~  
  
Professor Manson: Today class, as you should know, is the begining of the Ozz Fest, so we will be holding a special celebration! Please welcome, demi-Ozzie Osbourne!  
  
Oz from Wizard of Oz walks in: Hey, I'm the f*cking Prince of Darkness!  
  
Professor Manson: Hey! Wrong Oz!  
  
Oz: Uh?  
  
Professor Manson: Trent! Get in here and drag this sad excuse of existance out of here!  
  
Trent Reznore: MWAHAHAHOOOHOOO*Comes out and drags Oz off*  
  
Oz: *Squeaky laugh* Ahahahahaha!  
  
Professor Manson: Okay, now for the REAL Ozzie Osbourne!  
  
Bono shuffles in wearing a long black wig.  
  
Bono Ozzie: `Ey, come see the Ozz Fest. It's great fun for the whole family, and... *Passes out*  
  
Professor Manson: *Sighs* SECURITY! WE'VE HAD A MALFUNCTION WITH THE BOZZIE PROTOTYPEE!  
  
Class: WE WANT OZZIE! WE WANT OZZIE!  
  
Professor Manson: Fine, we'll get the closest thing we can find.  
  
Kuja walks in with a pink feather boa.  
  
Whole Class: NOOOOO!!  
  
Kuja begins to strip.  
  
Whole Class Including Manson and Trent: NOOOOOO!!  
  
Professor Manson: UGH! GET OUT! GET OUT! SEEECUUURITYYYYY!!  
  
Reznor: *Twitching on ground*  
  
Professor Manson: OH GOD, OUR SECURITY SYSTEM IS HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES AGAIN!  
  
Whole Class Including Manson: *Fall to the ground twitching*  
~In Some Random Corridor~  
  
Eiko: Gawd, finally that great fat shit spit me out! I thought I'd be trapped in the bowels of hell forever! *Hypnotized voice* And there was so much food...  
  
Draco Malfoy: Hey! Kid! Watch out! *Runs into her then catapults out a window*  
  
Eiko: Hey, bitch! Watch where you're going! You almost knocked me out the window!  
  
Draco: *Crack, crack, BOOM!* Ugh...  
  
Eiko: Serves you right, Slytherin! *Begins to walk again* People around here should learn how to treat a lady...  
  
Brahne who just happened to be sitting on a window sil: You ain't no lady  
  
Eiko: *Gasp* Well you're one to talk, Brahne!  
  
Brahne: Shut up, wo-MAN! *Flies off* Ehehehehe!!  
  
Eiko: How rude! Well if no one here can tell the difference between a lady and a man, why am I so girly?! That's it! From now on I am Man-Eiko!  
  
Eiko: *Runs into Great Hall and tugs on Dumbledore's sleeve* Old man, sir, how do I be a man?  
  
Dumbledore: Wha...? Oh... My... God... THE LITTLE GIRL WANTS TO BE A MAN!!  
  
Eiko: *Glares* If you say... one more word... I swear I will KILL YOU!!!  
  
Dumbledore: Okay...  
  
Eiko: Now, tell me  
  
Dumbledore: Tell you what?  
  
Eiko: How to be a man  
  
Dumbledore: Oh right, well... I guess you have to... *Glances over at Richards* Swear a lot  
  
Eiko: Swear a lot? Like, all the time?  
  
Dumbledore: Uh, yeah...  
  
Eiko: Like how?  
  
Dumbledore: Like, uh... him *Points at Richards* Look at him. He even swears when he's sneezing  
  
Richards: Fuh-fuh...Q!  
  
Dumbledore: See?  
  
Eiko: Oh! Okay! Thanks, KFC Man! You really saved my day!  
  
Dumbledore: *Waves* No problem, little gi- KFC MAN?!  
~In the Dungeons~  
  
Professor Snape: HellOOOOOOOOO Class!  
  
Class: HELLOOOOOOOOO, PROFESSOR SNAPE!  
  
Professor Snape: What a lovely day it is. Why don't we all go outside and play!?  
  
Class: YEAH!  
  
Zidane: *Howling* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Falls to the ground unconcious due to hyperventalation*  
  
Professor Snape: Now, now, what a troublesome student! *Shadow crosses face* He must be punished.... ehehehehe.....  
  
Class: Ehehehehehe....  
  
Professor Snape: Ehehehehehe....  
  
Class: Ehehehehehe....  
  
Professor Snape: Ehehehehe....  
  
Class: Ehehehehe...  
  
Professor Snape: SHUT UP, ALREADY! GOD, HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?!  
  
*Madame Hooch runs in, flashes, and then runs back out*  
  
Professor Snape: *Totally oblivious of what just happened* Now, for Zidane's punishment!  
  
Class: YAYYY!!!  
  
Professor Snape: *Switches to evil voice*AND YOU'LL HAVE NO PART OF IT!!!  
  
Class: Awww....  
  
Professor Snape: NOW GET OUTSIDE AND PLAY!!  
  
Class: YAYYY!!!  
  
Zidane: Ungh... must... escape... wrath... of... count... chocula...  
  
Professor Snape: *Grins* Tisk, tisk. Not yet, Zidane! *Dark shadow passes face* We're going to have some fun...   
  
Zidane: *Look of horror* NOOOOOO!!!  
  
Professor Snape: *Twitches*  
~The Basement~  
  
Garnet: Hey, what's that noise....?  
  
Bono: *Runs in and jumps on table* OOOOH OOOOH!! *Begins singing `Elevation'*  
  
House Elves: *Go into some kind of trance* U...2.......U...2......U...2.....  
  
Garnet: Whoa, how'd you do that?  
  
The Edge: *Shrug*  
~Herbology Class~  
  
Professor Richards: Uh...hey, class...  
  
Class: HEY, PROFESSOR RICHARDS!  
  
Professor Richards: *Clutches head in pain* NOOOO!! SO.... LOUD!!!!  
  
Draco Malfoy: *In a wheelchair due to his selfinflicted accident* He must have a really bad hangover, that's not even half as loud as we usally do it!  
  
Professor Richards: *Whithers into a pile on floor*  
  
A man clad in black leather suddenly jumps in.  
  
Bono: Never fear, Bono's here!  
~In the Dungeons.... again~  
  
Zidane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Professor Snape: Yes, you monsterous fiend of inter-stellar space!!   
  
Zidane But did you have to do... this...?  
  
Zidane is sitting in a bathtub filled to the top with Gilderoy Lockhart action figures.  
  
Professor Snape: ......YES!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHOOOHOO!!!   
  
Professor Snape: *Sits down on ground with a box of Junior Mints*  
  
Zidane: *Long pause* ................ Hey, Professor, can I have one?  
  
Professor Snape: *Pops Junior Mint in mouth and pupils enlarge to four times original size* Mmm...... minty.....  
A/N: Mwahaha.... how was that? If i get enough good reviews ill add another chapter... 


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